Posts

Naming Your Demons

It is vital to name your demons. If you do not, then they are blindly driving you into decisions and patterns that reinforce your unhappiness. You are letting an invasive species, which was planted in your young and defenseless heart, grow out of control - just like a weed, coiling around both your heart and your head. It is not easy work and it requires time, space, and helping hands to work through it. After about an hour of thinking and writing it through, I can say that my worst demons are: learned insecurities which lead to external people-pleasing and internal criticism fears of a lack in safety / security learned shame which prevents me from connecting to lifestyles and resources which resonate with me and could truly help eager self-sacrifice & self-abuse leading to unhealthy relationships in personal & professional life The interesting thing here is that insecurity is quite literally at the root of ever single one of these nasty little dudes. Now, this isn...

Manifesting Boundaries for my 41st Year

Today is my 41st birthday. The best thing so far has been the utter silence of the day. I woke up at 8 am, feeling more refreshed than I have in weeks, thanks to a full night's sleep. I had a nice breakfast of honey cardamom granola and apples with Greek yogurt. I checked out several books from the library, two of which I've already cracked the covers. I did some Qi Gong. I feel refreshingly, life-savingly, undrained and non-overwhelmed by my day. But my thumb joint hurts and I had nightmares about cutting the skin off of my ankles. Needless to say, things bubble beneath my surface. First and foremost, I'm overwhelmed to think that I have to go back to work tomorrow, dreading the cannibalism it provokes - knowing I will give myself so wholly to my job, despite the fact it is only providing temporary asylum in return. My job does nothing to alleviate deep fears I have about surviving and thriving in my golden years, or even fiscally surviving any minor health catast...